Promise yourself Self-Care and Self-Love!

I promise no moon...I promise no stars...I promise to be by your side in your darkest hours....

Yes, this is a pledge of a lover...not to another but to oneself...a lover of self !

Sounds strange...isn't it ? 

You are so much in love with the outside...you are always ready to go the extra mile for your loved ones...you work hard for your loved ones...you are kind to them in their tough times...you are always so compassionate towards them.

But amidst all this, do not forget to take notice of how you often treat yourself, especially during the difficult days, when your internal monologue is brutal.

You don't do yourself any good when you engage in

- reprimanding yourself
- self deprecating thinking and behaviour
- putting unrealistic pressures on yourself,
- focusing on your weakness rather than your strength
- focusing on what you did wrong instead of what you did right

So pledge the same love to you that you so strongly pledge to others.

TO YOURSELF,

Promise strength,
Promise health,
Promise compassion & care,
Promise to forgive yourself
Promise to stress less
Promise to set boundaries
Promise to achieve the forgotten dream
Promise to give yourself the best
Promise to try your best 
Promise a life you have always wanted to live for yourself! 
 
And most importantly don't forget to keep the promises you make to yourself ! 

Today, I promise to love myself a little more!!

What are you promising yourself today?
 
"To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance!" - Oscar Wilde

Gearing up for Life 2.0

When confronted with crisis, there are 2 possible approaches we can adopt - 1. Reactive, and 2. Proactive, though many of us find ourselves stuck between the two extremes of the continuum. A reactive approach is built mainly on the element of passivity, which is characterised by a "wait and watch" mindset/ attitude, with occasional reactions to things,but clearly not displaying any intent to resist or respond to the unfavourable status-quo. There's no attempt or effort to move out of comfort zone. On the other hand, though the Proactive approach is also about accepting the status-quo but then there is an effort to prepare (oneself) for post-crisis scenario. Getting fully versed with the prevailing situation and preparing oneself to deal with future challenges (some anticipated and some otherwise) is what entails the proactive approach during crisis.

When "writing is on the wall" and a "paradigm shift" is inevitable, then it's wise to adopt a "proactive" approach and prepare oneself for the anticipated changes. Given the magnitude of the current crisis, one could say that we are at the cusp of a major (macro) revision in our lives, and soon, we all, would be catapulted to Life 2.0. Whether we like it or not, there's a new "normal" that awaits us in future, post-crisis. What's most scary about this situation is the fact that the transition from Life 1.0 to Life 2.0 is not going to be as smooth as we would have wanted it to be because of the fact that we have been caught off-guard by this calamity.

The 180 degree turn that our lives have taken has necessitated us to take a broader view of things while gearing up for Life 2.0. This "paradigm shift" is going to give rise to a new "normal" and the sooner we become aware of it, the better equipped we will be to deal with it and manage our lives better. A holistic understanding of the changes that may sweep our lives could be a starting point to gear up for Life 2.0. Let's look at some aspects of our life that are bound to get impacted immensely

• Lifestyle - the free flowing nature of the way that we are accustomed to living (till yet) will take a bad hit. The careless and, at times, callous attitude would get replaced with a more mindful attitude. For a major part of the next few years, we may find ourselves operating at the bottom of "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs". Luxurious Living will become a passe and we will let go of need to be overly materialistic. Instead we will tend to adopt Minimalism or Essentialism as the preferred way of life. (For all those, who may not know about Essentialism and Minimalism - these are concepts which promote living a life only with the minimum or essential of needs, only with that much as is needed to live/ sustain). Life 2.0 will see a lifestyle (hopefully), bereft of any brandishing of our status or achievement.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

• Work - The dynamics of the workplace and the way we transact at work will see a drastic change. The organisations are going to tread slowly on investment and manpower. The job/ job role may not be an assurance or something that we may take for granted and rather may give way to maintaining a balance between our aspirations and needs. Life 2.0 may see us leveraging technology to hilt, as the work trend will see a shift to "virtual". The new mode of working give rise to a different set of professional skills, ethics and etiquette (rather netiquettes). For Work, Life 2.0 will throw open challenges related to transacting, teamwork, accountability and productivity and we need to focus on addressing them before going full throttle in Life 2.0.      

• Relationships - The need for developing and maintaining a support system, comprising of our family and close friends will take precedence over the need for expanding our network incessantly. These difficult time have taught us the importance of real connections, family and friends, whom we can fall back on, during times of difficulty. However large our social/ virtual network may be but it can't make up for a few trustworthy comrades and family members, who could be our source of strength always.

• Goals & Priorities - The ambitions may not top the list of our goals and instead may give way to stability. Having witnessed the VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) nature in action, the priorities may shift in favour of safety, security and health. From a goals-perspective, we will find ourselves taking recourse to setting only short-term goals for the identified priorities. We may find ourselves creating Plan B and Plan C. 

• Living - During Life 2.0, there is bound to be a major shift in our perception and perspective about life and happiness. The stark realisation that life is so ephemeral (in context of a crisis) has only made us value it more, in the truest sense, in terms of all the cherishable moments and relationships. It has also made us realise that life is a gift and we should live all our dreams, before it is too late. The crisis has opened us up to the real meaning of happiness and that is in displaying gratitude, compassion and empathy. Life 2.0 will be more about WE than ME and we can hope to turn out to be better humans, living with the feeling of togetherness and camaraderie.

Ending this post with a couple of quotes on "Paradigm Shifts" that will help us get started smoothly on our Life 2.0 journey

"Paradigm shifts aren't always obvious when you are in the middle of one" - Michael Brune

"A paradigm shift is a revolutionary change from one way of thinking to another; a transformation or metamorphosis, rather than an evolutionary process. The paradigm we use and accept is dependent on us believing what we perceive to be true and accurate" - Unknown 

Let Life 2.0 begin ! 

Make Self-Care A Priority

Have we felt as strongly for Self-Care as we feel now ?

Maybe NO, because the present times are drastically different from any other and the crisis of this magnitude is a "first" for many of us. Till now, we could afford to ignore the need for self-care, even with a lame excuse and get away with it. But now is the time to give due importance to self-care and put it on priority else coping with the situation will become impossible for us. Ignoring self-care will only leave us more vulnerable and lead to anxiety, depression, and various other debilitating emotions/ feelings.

The turn of events during these unpredictable times may leave us overwhelmed and lead to losing focus on "self" but a quick reminder to ourselves that self-care is the only way to beat the blues could set us up to put self-care back on our radar and get going.

It's very important to understand that self-care is a comprehensive and holistic approach to wellness and includes physical, mental and emotional aspects of our personality.

The trick to effective self-care lies in making it an integral part of our lifestyle and mentioned below are few tips that could help us achieve the same.

Keep Things Simple

At times like these (crisis), the intention should be to avoid complicating the things so that they don't overwhelm us. The more manageable things are for us, the more we are in control of ourselves. We can always keep things simple by

• living in the present because that's where it's all happening. moving beyond the present, into the times which hasn't arrived brings undue stress. all the action happens in the present and that's why it's important to stay there, in the present.

• taking things as they unfold - pre-empting things doesn't work out in these situations where uncertainty and unpredictability rule the roost. being patient is the key, so wait and watch how things shape up and then prepare ourselves accordingly. acting in haste is a complete waste in this scenario.

• focusing on what we can control, even if it's a tiny thing/ task/ action - it's good to have an opinion but being obsessed with it (opinion) if we can't change the facts is waste of energy. there are always going to be things falling outside our scope of control so it makes more sense to expend our energy and effort on things under our control and it could be the crucial task of managing our reaction to a bad/ unfavourable event. 

• attempting one thing at a time - multitasking is a myth but at times like these when we feel overwhelmed, we attempt to do too many things at the same time. this results in us losing focus and patience and we end up with multiple incomplete tasks. the best approach to avoid undue stress and pressure at this time is to prioritise things and do them one at a time. 

Go Easy On Self

It's natural human reaction to try our best to address the challenges effectively and at the earliest to avoid any major damage to self. But in our attempt to do so, we, knowingly or unknowingly, put ourselves under extreme pressure to do the right things and to do it in time. These self-imposed deadlines/ timelines could result in a biased mindset and we may end up being irrational in our decision-making. Remember, self-care is about being kind to our self, so let's try and be our best ally. Few ways that could help us go easy on ourself are

• stopping judging ourself - with plenty of negative influences around us, we may get into the habit of labeling ourselves. playing neutral ensures we stay sane and in control of things

• avoiding overthinking - The 2 most harmful thinking errors that we may get prone to during crisis are 1) playing victim, where we may start assuming to have been singled out to suffer, and 2) catastrophizing, where we tend to magnify the situation and get obsessed with the worst possibility.

• limiting media exposure - during times of crisis, media is bound to be filled with more news and stories about loss, despair and sadness. It's wise to avoid too much exposure to media of any form (electronic news media or social media). limiting our media exposure to gaining update on the situation and on watching news/  stories about hope and courage will be helpful. consuming only that content which keeps your spirits up is the best use of our time spent on media.

• dropping all expectations - when times are unsure, there's no point in building expectations of any sort from anyone, neither from self nor from others. the only expectation that may come true is the dawn of a new order and we can never be prepared in advance to build anticipation for this unknown and unseen entity. there's merit in having zero expectations and living more realistically. 

Seek Progress

It's very important that when we encounter any calamity in life, we try to maintain the forward momentum. Life is all about moving ahead, even if that happens by way of small, tiny steps. It may happen that life may come to a complete standstill and may not offer us any hope for future but if we proceed with an intent to keep moving ahead in some way, we will keep progressing. Here are few ways we can seek progress even during tough times

• looking for possibilities - among the plethora of problems that may come our way during crisis, keeping an eye for the silver lining or the bright spot is the only way to stay positive. "what is it that is still a possibility" could become the new mantra for us.

• identifying opportunities - the paradigm shift that occurs may close many previous doors but surely opens up many new ones. all that we need to do is to move out of our comfort zone and look around with fresh perspective.

• watching our self talk - words have great power and during times of difficulty, we rely a lot on our inner voice. ensure that what we tell ourselves uplifts us and gives us strength and hope. be watchful about the conversation with self as the self-talk has a direct impact on our self-esteem.

• doing what gives us strength - Vulnerability is at its peak during this time of uncertainty and the best we can do for ourselves is to pick up an activity/ hobby/ passion that makes us calm and provide us with strength to deal with the difficult times with ease.

Self-Care isn't just about being good to ourselves but also about being a contributor of optimism and hope for others too, especially when everyone needs them (optimism and hope) in abundance !