When Life Hits An Impasse !

source: www.goodtherapy.org

When our life is brought to a screeching halt and we are thrown in a tizzy, all we wonder is "What now?" . What had so far been a smooth cruise now appears to be a tricky and bumpy ride. Looking further ahead, we see our life engulfed in a cloud of confusion and chaos. This is when the reality hits us that our life has hit an impasse !

The "cul-de-sac" that stares at us in our face and leave us completely blank is in fact a manifestation of our ill-conceived goals and ill-directed actions. Now, when all our goals seem out of sight no clarity of direction, the only way forward is to do course correction.

Hitting a dead-end in life is not the end of the road for us. A little bit of self-probing and self-reflection could help us get our life back on track again. This is the right time to dig deep and identify what's holding us back.

The following could help us explore the root cause:

• Do i feel motivated (at this moment) to pursue the goal ?
• Am i pursuing my existing goals of my own free will ?
• Do i feel overwhelmed/ underwhelmed with my goal(s) ?
• Do i need to rework on my goals - maybe establish a different goal altogether or rework on the existing one ?
• Do i need to establish few mini-goals that will help me be motivated ?
• Are my action items in place ?
• Have i set my priorities right ?
• Have i built the necessary discipline in my daily routine for the tasks that needs to be executed? 
• Have i built a closure (timeline/ deadline) for the tasks identified by me? 
• Have i identified all the available options ?
• Do i have a mechanism in place for feedback ?

Pondering over the above questions could help us pin point where exactly the problem lies - whether in our goals, action items or time. Once the root cause is identified then its not difficult to do the necessary course correction and go beyond the impasse !

A Successful Journey Needs A Destination !

To establish the right context, it makes sense to start with few important questions :

• Is it important to know where you are headed, be it about any journey we undertake?
• Is it crucial to begin the day with clarity about the tasks to be accomplished that day?
• Is it important to live our life with a clearly defined set of expectations?

For sure, the answer will be a resounding "YES" though we do not always comply with it. A simple case in point is the way we live our life, more as a ritual rather than a mission; also those times when we mindlessly go through life's chores without any thinking about why we are doing them ?

And if asked why we are doing them, the immediate reaction is- "So what ?, how does it matter how i traverse the path as long as i am going somewhere?"

Little do we realise that this "somewhere" itself is the biggest problem. Quoting Lewis Carroll - "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there". This illustrates that "somewhere" may not turn out to be our "desired land". If all we want from ourselves is to be in a state of "motion" then it will only lead to "commotion". 

Why is Destination important ?

The most important reason that we need a destination is because our dreams is at stake. Every journey in our life is an unfulfilled dream till we reach where we desire to. Imagine the plight of those who embark on an expedition to Himalayas or Antartica or any other place without identifying where they need to stop ! 

At a personal level, think about the times when we step out of our home, we know exactly where we need to head. Likewise, every other journey that we embark upon needs a finish point too. Every Start needs a Stop and unless destination is identified it's only going to result in an abrupt stop. We can't expect ourselves to be "moving" without any movement, forward, backward or sideways. 

Don't we all yearn for few important things in life ? Don't we all yearn for a life well-lived ? Don't we all engage in a quest for success and happiness in life ? Then why not define what we seek and make the road easier to travel for ourselves!  

Summing up the need for identifying Destination - It gives direction and meaning to our lives. It also makes us more efficient and productive.

How to identify/ define Destination in Life ? 

If Destination is so critical for out life then it becomes imperative to identify it. Few ways we could do so is

• Imbibe the habit of putting a closure to every task that we undertake 
• Give the destination the shape of a well-defined goal
• Link the established goals with relevant areas of our life
• Visualize the dream state we want to achieve to enable us establish the appropriate destination
• Be clear about the distinction between an intermediate goal and the main goal
• Don't get overwhelmed with the journey itself as it needs to end at some point       

So, the choice is ours - whether we want to live an incomplete life laden with unfulfilled dreams and desires or we want a meaningful life laden with accomplishments and happiness!