Series on Emotional Wellness - Know The Basics

Before embarking upon building or enhancing emotional wellness, it becomes imperative to gather fundamental understanding  of all the key aspects related to emotional wellness so that our efforts are put in the right way on the right elements. Emotional Wellness is not merely a concept but a way of life and is closely connected or related to other areas of Wellness, be it Physical, Mental, or any other. So, when we talk about Emotional Wellness, let us talk about it from a holistic perspective.

Before I define Emotional Wellness (EW), it's important to understand the fundamental difference between 2 very important concepts/ elements, which we often use interchangeably. These are Emotions and Feelings. Each of the two mentioned concepts is by itself an area of separate and deep study, and there's ample of research that's being done in each of the 2 mentioned areas. So, for the sake of simplifying the concepts for the readers, i attempt to provide a basic level distinction between the 2 (based on the online research done by me for the purpose)

EMOTIONS are

• responses in the brain that generate biochemical responses/ reactions in the body
• primarily stimulus triggered
• coded in the genes
• common to all (to a large extent)
• and are fewer in count (though there's no single agreed upon number, some research puts it at 4, while other research puts it at 6, 15 and so on.

FEELINGS are

• mental constructs that we create
• personalised 
• triggered by emotions
• shaped by our memory and experiences (learned behaviour)
• of many types, ranging in various degrees

It's never easy to provide a proper distinction between two intertwined concepts/ elements and all the more difficult when to a layperson, the fine distinction appears blurred. A simple example to illustrate the difference is when we perceive a certain scenario, situation or event as a threat. If it happened to be primitive times, then coming face to face with a wild animal would qualify as a real threat (to our life/ survival). Whenever faced with a threatening situation/ event, the emotion of  FEAR is the one that gets triggered and starts a biochemical reaction in the body. (The emotion of FEAR has been existing from primitive times and this establishes the "common to all" trait of emotions). Our response to this emotion of Fear is termed as FEELINGS and this is very personalised, totally driven by our belief system, thinking, experience and memories. Few may respond to Fear by way of freezing (unable to move/ react at all), few may respond by way of flight (running away, literally or otherwise) and few others may respond to Fear by way of Fight. Our reaction i.e. FEELINGS are like the meaning we assign to the occurring/ occurred emotion and this could vary in degree too from person to person.

Now, let me share the three key elements of Emotional Wellness and they are EMOTIONS, FEELINGS and THOUGHTS. These 3 interconnected elements, when addressed properly, determines Emotional Wellness

To define Emotional Wellness, i will take a broader, comprehensive and a holistic view and define Emotional Wellness as the ability to effectively manage the three key elements - Emotions, Feelings and Thoughts.  How well we are able to constructively respond to events/ situations and effectively managing these three interconnected elements. By effectively managing, the reference is to finding constructive ways to address them so that they (emotions, feelings and thoughts) aid our emotional and overall well-being, leaving us more rational and balanced. 

Why Emotional Wellness is so important for us ?

When we talk about life-balance, work-life balance or holistic wellness, one of the key aspect that we need to pay attention is that of gaining better understanding about self and others. Being Emotionally Well or Healthy enables the individual to not only recognise his/ her reactions to events and then manage them constructively but also recognise the same in others and manage them constructively to improve the interpersonal relationships. 

Emotional Wellness has a direct impact on an individual's self-esteem and self-confidence and an  emotionally healthy individual is more equipped to be successful and happy than an emotionally unhealthy individual.

Key Steps For Emotional Wellness

The three key steps to build Emotional Wellness are

• Awareness of the Emotions/ Feelings, where we sense that something is happening/ occurring
• Acceptance/ Acknowledgement, where we embrace what is happening inside 
• Address, where we take take constructive actions/ steps to manage the 3 different elements of Emotional Wellness.

References

There's a great deal of deep research being carried out in the area of Emotional Wellness and the above post is just to provide a brief introduction to the concept and a fundamental distinction between Emotions and Feelings. I have referred to multiple resources on internet about the subject for my article and the following 2 resources have helped me provide structure and shape to my article   

https://thebestbrainpossible.com/whats-the-difference-between-feelings-and-emotions/

https://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/feelings-and-emotions/

N.B. :

• The images used in the above post have been sourced from the internet

RESET Life for a Better RESTART !

At times, what we perceive as "CRISIS" turns out to be a "blessing in disguise". When times get as bad as they could and everything around us appears bleak, we can still find the silver lining if we turn attention inwards. Remember, challenging and tough times like these are an opportunity to build resilience, a quality that stands us in good stead in turbulent times like these. When crisis push us to adopt "self-isolation" as a way of life, then instead of panic, fear and hopeless, it makes sense to reset ourselves and work on creating a better version of ourselves.  

Few key areas that facilitate the RESET process are as below: 

• Fears - Ever experienced "self-limiting" thoughts holding you back from taking action and moving ahead ? If yes, then chances are that there are some unfounded fears/ phobias that's acting as a deterrent to your growth. Ask yourself  "What's that BIG Fear that holds me back from achieving my dreams and accomplishing my goals ?" Once you get a clarity, start addressing those fears. Either work on turning around these self-limiting thoughts into enabling and empowering ones or connect with a coach, counsellor or therapist for help. Utilise this downtime to work on self and come out stronger than before. 

• Relationships - If you are the types who always cribbed about not finding time to spend with family and/ or friends, then this is the time to work on those important relationships, whether on consolidating the existing ones or mending the broken ones. Find time to sit and make a list of important relationships in your life, gauge where they stand currently and where you like to see them, identify what you can do to improve them. At times, improving relationship is all about saying Sorry or Thank You. So, go ahead and take that first step which could be as simple as making that call to the person.      

• Wellness - No one can deny the importance of (holistic) wellness in coping with crisis like this when life comes to a standstill (literally). An individual who is holistically well does not get (easily) swayed by the events around, especially the sad and the negative ones and also possess  better resilience to deal with the uncertainty around. Emotional Wellness is an essential element of Holistic Wellness and holds importance as it prepares us to adequately filter out the negatively influences that come our way through people and media (print, electronic or online) and most importantly it helps us to express ourselves appropriately, whether for voicing our opinion or using social media in a cathartic way. Writing a journal or starting a blog could help in improving in mental health, if done properly. 

• Goals -Spend this time to seek clarity about life that you always wanted to have. The time is right to pay attention to the goals that you have been postponing for long. In case, you have been wanting to establish goals for life (personal and professional), then this is the right time to do so. And in case, if you have your top 3-5 goals already identified, then this is the time to put some serious thought in creating Action Plan for them. Incorporating contingency like the present crisis would lend more robustness to the Action Plan. Remember, we may not be able to take on-ground action in the present circumstances (forced by the crisis/ turbulence) but at least we would have a ready-to-be-executed plan when we hit the ground running again.

• Growth - Being "self-isolated" and staying at home provides us with another great opportunity of upgrading our skills and competencies. A self-analysis, at this time, can provide us with good insights into areas that need development and the best part is that all this is so achievable because of the interconnected world that we live in. With plenty of online platforms like Udemy, Coursera, edX, Khan Academy, MIT Open Courseware, it's just about selecting the one that meet our needs. Most of the courses offered are not only free and self-paced but also provides the option to seek a certificate for the course (at a cost though) to showcase. I don't think personal/ professional upgradation could get any easier than this.    

• Lifestyle/ Way of Living - Perhaps the biggest learning/ lesson that any big crisis teaches us is not to take life for granted. Somewhere along the way, in our busyness, we tend to get casual and careless about things that ought to get our attention, whether it's about the way we live or the people in our lives. One of the important lessons that we need to learn fast is that life is made better not by acquiring plenty but by learning to live with "essential" and "minimum".   

When time calls for a new you, surprise life with a "better you" !  

Staying Positive in Chaotic Times !

When times turn turbulent, it doesn't take much and too long for negativity to creep in our lives. The chaos that ensues as a result of crisis makes it difficult for us to see possibilities and solutions around us (and within). Everything seems unpredictable/ uncertain and we tend to fall trap to gloom and despair. Amidst all these challenges and the feeling of hopelessness, positivity appears as the only saviour to see us through these difficult times. Positivity holds the potential to create possibilities where none exist and the sooner we imbibe positivity in our daily actions, the faster we equip ourselves to handle adversities that may mar our progress in life.

Here are my 5 Tips to build Positivity, especially when it matter most to us 

• Stay Connected with Friends and Family - To cope effectively with any crisis, there cannot be a better morale boosting support system than our family and friends. Having them around to talk to and share with, helps us deal effectively with the range of negative emotions and feelings that get manifested in us. A simple call or text/ message could be a good start point to reaching out to them. Staying connected is a good way to express our care for the other person. Remember to look beyond your virtual/ social network. 

• Work towards Holistic Wellness - Any crisis takes its toll on us, in every possible way, be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Focusing on and achieving holistic wellness keeps us in balance and in better shape to cope with the adversities. As the famous saying goes that "Tough times don't last but Tough People do" and that's precisely what we need to follow by paying attention to our overall well-being and there are very simple steps to achieve that . Few of those are 

• PHYSICAL - Exercising, Yoga, Running or Walking ; Drinking plenty of water and eating healthy diet/ food, especially immunity boosting food and fruits
• MENTAL - Engaging in Positive Thinking; Practicing Meditation or Mindfulness that can help make the body calm and mind peaceful, which is so much required in these type of situations. 
• EMOTIONAL - Reaching out to support professional/ group and expressing fears, concerns, feelings which may turn out to be harmful if not addressed and expressed  appropriately. 

• Exercise Restraint on Social Media - The Social Media has a huge impact on our lives and influences our perceptions, mindset and judgement. With consistent poking, it is but natural for us to get swayed by what we encounter/ come across on various online platforms and a lot of that stuff happens to be dark and negative. During chaos and crisis, it becomes important to exercise some restraint what we post and share on Social Media and equally important is what we read online.These sensitive times call for everyone to be an ambassador of Positivity on Social Media and spread hope and optimism instead of fear and panic.

• Balance the ME - We all tend to become a bit selfish and self-focused when crisis happen. Our every action is about placing our own needs first and most of the time it is at the cost of others. We need to realise that our existence is dependent on the existence of our fellow being and if an apocalypse happens (exaggeration to the extreme :) ), we all will perish. The point to remember here is to maintain that essential balance between self-interest and the greater interest of everybody (who can get impacted). The need of the hour is to understand the interconnected nature of our existence and act responsibly. We need to maintain the balance between ME and WE and wherever needed, let's shrink our ME to make way for the WE. 

• Get "Real" about Life - The sooner we come to terms with life, the sooner we develop acceptance for the vagaries of life. We can't always be in control of things around us and at times, the best way to deal with the adversities in life is to stay calm, be patient, do the needful and let the storm past !