The Art of Getting Unstuck

There are times when situations, circumstances, or people may put us in a precarious position and all we do then is to remain static. There's nothing at all that we achieve by remaining where we are. The nature of life is growth and progression and if we stop evolving, we are doomed and only land up in an abyss.

Think no harder, there's a simple way to avoid landing in such a scenario.

Moving from a STUCK state to an UNSTUCK one is just about a few MOVEs. 

Whenever we find ourselves stuck, the following are the possible MOVEs that we can make to get UNSTUCK

• Move ON - When past hurts or regrets haunt us and we feel trapped, it's time to move on from them for our own sake. The past is only as good as a lesson we need to learn to improve our present and future. The more we are stuck with the past, the more damage we will do to our dreams and goals. 

• Move AWAY - When we seem, even a bit in control of things, then pulling ourselves away from things keeping us stuck in life, is a good move. Detaching from things and situations that are harmful to our growth in life is a good way to make the best of our lives.

• Move AHEAD - Comfort Zone is a killer if you stay in it for too long. Falling trap to this make-believe is like compromising on our dreams and risking us to remain mediocre. We are here to make the most of our innate potential, most of which may be lying dormant. Every small step forward aids in that.

• Move WITHIN - When things get too overwhelming for us to handle, it may result in action paralysis and leave us stuck. Our inability to progress for want of positive action necessitates that we move to a peaceful place within to calm our nerves and restore our creative energy.

These simple MOVEs could be our savior every time we feel stuck in life. So, getting unstuck is as simple as deciding about the right MOVE to take! 

You Too Can Be A Hero !

When things go bad, do you wait for a HERO or you get up and become one?

Aren't we all smitten by "Heroes" and secretly yearn to be one, especially when crisis hit us hard?

There's always a HERO lurking inside us and it does not take much to bring it to the fore. A bit of clarity and courage is all that's needed to summon the hero within. A HERO has all the ingredients of being a saviour and crusader of hope. 

Let's see what makes a HERO and how each one of us too could become one  

H - Hopeful, Helpful

When negativity is in the air, the HERO in us could help survive this fear and uncertainity by having/ providing hopes of good times ahead. The HERO in us could take a lead in providing a helping hand to those who are struggling to come to terms with reality or finding it difficult to cope with the times. This could make a huge difference to the struggling souls.    

E - Empathetic, Empowered

Only when we start relating to the feeling of others is when we start invoking the HERO in us. Put yourself in the shoes of others and feel their pain to establish connection and trust. Motivate others to feel empowered enough to take control of their lives and actions   

R - Resilient, Realistic

As goes the famous quote, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going" and so should a HERO also behave/ act. Standing tall in the face of adversity and bouncing back whenever needed will ensure riding over the tough times with ease. Be a HERO by doing a reality check of things (as they stand in present) and then acting accordingly so that it doesn't dampen the surviving spirit.  

O - Optimistic, Open 

It is so easy to send the HERO (in us) off to a slumber when in a state of gloom. Looking at what we can change will make the road smoother and open up new opportunities. A HERO is open to taking actions (however small they may be) and trying out new things (experimenting) to keep the door open for new possibilities.     

So, stop waiting for a HERO. Brace up to be one and make a difference!

Stop Chasing the Wrong Rainbow !

Life is a good teaser and most of us are always running to catch up with its' (life) pace. Amidst all the "chasing after life" that we get engaged in,  little do we realize that, we are, in fact, chasing a rainbow. However promising and colorful this rainbow may appear, and however sincerely we may go after it, we may still not be able to catch up the rainbow. Mindless chasing just make the matter worse. This is when a little pause for doing course correction could make the things better for us. We may ask ourselves whether we are chasing the wrong rainbow ? Maybe chasing an illusion of perfection and "being preferred" that may have got manifested out of our unrealistic expectations. 

Chasing a rainbow that exists in the context of a world that is governed by a cut-throat competition and where competitiveness guides for all our pursuits, aspirations outdo ability and we are constantly striving to outdo others (in every conceivable way), makes it imperative for us to ensure that we chase the right rainbow if we want to live a fulfilling life. The repercussions of chasing a wrong rainbow are fraught with implications that would leave us exhausted, clueless and disappointed. 

Before choosing which rainbow to chase, it is good to realize that life will always play a "catch me if you can" game with us and whether we fall trap to it or not is going to define the outcomes in our life. Chase the wrong rainbow and we would always be running and seeking without any end; choose the right rainbow and we would make the best of whatever life brings our way.  

Let's understand what a wrong rainbow comprises. Always remember that even a wrong rainbow could appear quite appealing and enticing and may fool us into a make-believe. So, the best way to get started is to ask ourselves -  What are we seeking in life ?What exactly, are we, running after in life ?

So, when it's about chasing the wrong rainbow, we tend to end up chasing things that are BIGGER, BETTER, FASTER, SMARTER and MORE. Our frame of reference is "others" and our intention, always, is to outdo others. Blame it on clouded thinking and inflated ego, we just live a life of constant comparison, always keen to prove a point to others. The control of our life is handed over to others and all our energy and effort goes in being a notch above others. The "tangibles" seem to be defining our success here, in this scenario. For example, to be termed/ perceived more successful than others, i need to be the BEST IN EVERYTHING, whether its about owning a home (bigger than others), driving a car (faster than others), having a job or business (smarter than others), bank balance (more money than others). Chasing a rainbow comprising of the above 5 components will always be a never-ending struggle because there will always be someone better than us in some way. So, this eternal quest of perfection will always stand in our way of living a satisfying and successful life.

Now, let's look at what a right kind of rainbow looks like. Progression instead of Perfection defines this rainbow and there never really is any chase involved in it. It's all about a very calm and patient seeking of peace and order. The SMALL, LESS and NOW characterizes the nature of things being sought. The control of life remains with "oneself" and intention is to become the BEST VERSION OF ONESELF, without any need to enter into competition with others. The seeker is happy and satisfied with whatever there is and "tangibles" do not hold much relevance in this context. Chasing/ Seeking this rainbow is a guarantee of eternal satisfaction and success in life. A small house, small car, enjoying every task to the hilt is all very satisfying and satiating.

So, reflect whether you need to stop chasing the wrong rainbow and if need be create your own rainbow, that aligns well with the fundamental principles of living life well.

Remember, it's never too late to Stop Chasing Life and instead Start Living It !

Winning the Game of Life !

Courtesy: Google Search

When life hands us disappointment, failure, downturn and like, It's an indication that the time is ripe for some self-reflection and to ask ourself - How well are we playing the game of life and whether we are adequately equipped to play and win in this tricky GAME of life ?

With its uncanny nature and all the idiosyncracies, life always leaves us guessing about what's coming next. The unpredictable and uncertain nature of life never allow us to gain a grip over things and we tend to lack proactivity in addressing the challenges that life throws at us. Amidst all this, life still rolls on and leave us gasping to catch up with its' speed and pace. Though we can never be hundred percent prepared and equipped to deal with the twists and turns in life, but we can still manage to beat life at its' own game if we develop an effective strategy.

The strategy to win is plain and simple - incorporate in our repertoire of daily living, the elements of clarity, purpose and action which can effectively negotiate the after effects of unpredictability and uncertainty that life regularly poke us with.

Decode the acronym GAME, and voila, we arrive at 4 key elements for our survival kit in this VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) impacted world. Let's find out what these 4 elements are :

• G for GOALS - Who wants to keep moving in life without reaching anywhere ? With the exception of a rocking chair (pun intended), I am sure none us wants to live like that - living in a haze of confusion and be lost in our life, achieving and accomplishing nothing. This is where GOALS play the saviour for us by providing the much needed clarity, both in terms of where we are headed and where we intend to reach. Goals bring purpose to our life and act as a springboard to propel us to greater heights of success. Establishing goals are mandatory for us if we want to succeed and accomplish our dreams in life. Goals work as milestones and checkposts, keeping us focused on the way forward. A life without goals is like a meaningless meandering that we engage in but with goals, it becomes a purposeful quest for bringing meaning to our life.

• A for ATTITUDE - To win the GAME of life, it's important to understand how we approach it - either we can see opportunity in every challenge and make the most of life or see challenge in every opportunity and forever be stuck in life. To win the game of life, it's essential to carry an attitude of optimism, possibility and action because dark days outnumber the bright ones in life and if we can keep our spirit up during tough times then life is a song and then there's no stopping us. So, let's build an attitude that provides us altitude.
  

• M for MOTIVATION - Consistency is the hallmark of a winner. When we talk about the  game of life then progress, even if it is small, holds the key to success. This in turn depends on our type and level of motivation. Motivation is that inner urge which keeps us going towards our goal and more big and distant the goal is, the more the need to build sustained motivation in us. The main aspect of motivation that we need to work upon is not whether we are  motivated or not, because we are always motivated for something but rather about whether we are appropriately motivated, in alignment with our life's purpose and goals. So, if we plan to win the game of life, then we need to develop and sustain motivation that's directed towards our goals in life and not away from them.
  

• E for EMOTIONS - Talking about the hyper connected world that we live in today, it is our social identity that's defining our success so building a strong and sustainable relationship with our social connections, networks and groups becomes very crucial. Emotions play a major role in building a long lasting relationship, both with self and others and winning the game of life becomes much easier. Emotions is perhaps the most less understood among the 4 elements being discussed and if we have to thrive on relationships/ connections then we need to start building on our emotional skills. A highly developed emotional skill is all about a better awareness, understanding and application of emotions, in self and others. Once developed, this skill renders us more balanced, in better control and in a better frame of mind to take logical decisions. 

  

Seek the "Bright Spot" in Life !

Image Source: www.larryraymonds.com

Do you remember the biggest turnaround of your life ? - That instance when you came out triumph even though the odds were stacked against you and everything was going amiss around you.

Ever wondered how you managed to turn it around in your favour ? What triggered the turnaround, that too at a time when you had lost all hope ?

You may reflect and come out with plenty of reasons but the most crucial would be how it all started - that mind shift which occurred that propelled you to look at the situation with a more positive intent and perspective. Amidst all the turbulence and tribulations, the moment you started seeking the "bright spot" is when the change started to happen for you. And this change is what resulted in turning your life around for better.

Whether the going is smooth or rough, there are 2 key things about life that we always need to remember -

1. Life is unpredictable and will always keep springing surprises and
2. The basic nature of life is "forward".

Given the above understanding about life, the only way to deal with the vagaries of life and keep momentum intact in life is to always look for the "bright spot", even in the worst of the scenarios. Whether you call it "being optimistic" or something else, all that matters is not to get bogged down by unfavourable situations and go into a "freeze" mode, but to figure out something positive and worthwhile in every adversity and keep growing in life.

The phrase "Every cloud has a silver lining" is just so apt to explain seeking the "bright spot". There's always something good you can find in any situation, something that cheers you up and tells you that

• Life is not about any one event or incident but rather about entirety; the realisation that life is a composition of all the events and incidents that have occurred in your life till now 
• Life is not about the experience per se but about the learning it provides to help you become much wiser for future
• Life is not about failure but about the feedback that every failure provides so that the mistakes are not repeated

Seeking the "bright spot" becomes a challenge if you start observing things in the shorter context of what is happening. The best way to overcome this challenge is to start observing things in the larger context of how less worse (if things are dismally bad) or better you could make it because the "whole is greater than the sum of its parts". So, start finding that "bright spot" that could turn it around for you - maybe there's a learning you could derive, maybe there's a bigger damage you could prevent, maybe there's a change of course you can identify, maybe there's some other realisation that could dawn on you.

Once you have sought the "bright spot" then you can be rest assured that life will only be as bad as you would allow it to be because you would have then seized the control of your life also. So, never get impacted by the bad things that may occur in your life at times (and may get even worse) because you still hold the control for turning the tide in your favour.

Live life to the fullest and next time you find yourself in a tight spot, just seek the "bright spot" and bring about the desired turnaround in your life. You can always create your best possible life if you don't sweat about the small stuff and just focus on the beauty of making your life much more worthwhile !    

What's Your Doorway To Life ?

Haven't we been spectators to our own life many a times when it spirals downwards, roller coasting downhill ? Those days when everything appears challenging and things just seem to go from bad to worse, when reaction overtakes the response and the external forces appear too many to handle and  then we assume that the only option left with us is to "confront" and the only thought that crosses our mind is to wait for things to get better (only if they will).

The events in life are never in our control and they may occur anytime, anywhere and in any form. Quite contrary to the events in out life and much against the popular belief, the outcome of any event is never pre-defined and is always under our control. Just a case in point - consider the day that starts off with a minor irritation but ends up with an exhibition of full blown anger. Few things that may still have gone in our favour also go the other way. Life seems like slipping away from our hold/ grip and and we are left in the lurch wondering what went wrong. The blame gets passed on to the events that occurred which catapulted a manageable day into an unmanageable one. 

All this while when the reasons were being sought to pass on the blame, a little introspection could have worked wonder. A little thought to the following could have brought back the control of the day and of life. 

Ask yourself - What's controlling my life and what's determining the outcomes in my life ?

And when we ask yourself the above, let's not settle for the most convenient and easy answer which is "external events". If that would have been the correct answer, then just about everyone would have been struggling to control/ manage their life. How is it, then, that so many still seize control of their life when they sense it slipping away ?  

The mantra is quite simple - "Identify your doorway to life !", which means finding out through what lens do we view life. Simply put, the doorway defines our attitude to life and the values/ philosophy we live by. Though the day may not begin as per our expectations many a times and we may face unfavourable situations, events or circumstances but still we can end our day well if our doorway is of positivity, hope, trust, faith, teamwork, and anything that makes our life better in some way. 

Getting perturbed by unfavourable events is easy and this can play spoiler in our unless we build a doorway on the foundation of trust and confidence - trust that things may seem bad right now but will surely get better in future, so let me focus on what this experience has to teach me; confidence in self that I possess the requisite capability and capacity to turn it around by holding onto enabling and empowering positive thoughts and actions.  

Always remember that we can seize the control of our life whenever we want to and nothing external can determine the outcome in my life except myself. Once I imbibe this, all I need to do is to build a doorway that's always empowering for me, helping me to accomplish more and evolve.

So, let's do whatever it takes to build a doorway that will even inspire the Universe to conspire and help us attract peace, love, harmony , success and happiness in our life !

 

When Life Hits An Impasse !

source: www.goodtherapy.org

When our life is brought to a screeching halt and we are thrown in a tizzy, all we wonder is "What now?" . What had so far been a smooth cruise now appears to be a tricky and bumpy ride. Looking further ahead, we see our life engulfed in a cloud of confusion and chaos. This is when the reality hits us that our life has hit an impasse !

The "cul-de-sac" that stares at us in our face and leave us completely blank is in fact a manifestation of our ill-conceived goals and ill-directed actions. Now, when all our goals seem out of sight no clarity of direction, the only way forward is to do course correction.

Hitting a dead-end in life is not the end of the road for us. A little bit of self-probing and self-reflection could help us get our life back on track again. This is the right time to dig deep and identify what's holding us back.

The following could help us explore the root cause:

• Do i feel motivated (at this moment) to pursue the goal ?
• Am i pursuing my existing goals of my own free will ?
• Do i feel overwhelmed/ underwhelmed with my goal(s) ?
• Do i need to rework on my goals - maybe establish a different goal altogether or rework on the existing one ?
• Do i need to establish few mini-goals that will help me be motivated ?
• Are my action items in place ?
• Have i set my priorities right ?
• Have i built the necessary discipline in my daily routine for the tasks that needs to be executed? 
• Have i built a closure (timeline/ deadline) for the tasks identified by me? 
• Have i identified all the available options ?
• Do i have a mechanism in place for feedback ?

Pondering over the above questions could help us pin point where exactly the problem lies - whether in our goals, action items or time. Once the root cause is identified then its not difficult to do the necessary course correction and go beyond the impasse !

Activate the GPS of your Life now !

In this world where we constantly strive to reach somewhere all the time, can we imagine using our smartphones with the GPS (Global Positioning System) turned off ? Wouldn't that put us out of balance, out of focus and leave us in a state of commotion ?

The VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) world that we live in expects us to be always connected with everything around us so that we are in sync with the changing world, if we need to keep pace with the things. Our digital existence and ultra reliance on technology is made possible because of GPS acting as our guidance system and helping us to reach where we intend to. And if the GPS turned on, there is very little possibility of us losing our way or failing to reach our desired destination.

But how about our life ? Do we always reach where we intend to ? Do we always find our way when we get lost ? The fact is that, life always presents us with moments that may make us feel overwhelmed, lost, confused or completely clueless about ourselves. A cloud of obscurity engulfs our goals and destination and we just wander through life aimlessly, without a definite purpose. It is during these moments only that we need to take stock of things and not let life pass by us with just a whimper.

Wouldn't it help immensely to have a GPS for Life that could start from where we are and then guide us to where we intend to go ! Further, what should this particular GPS (of our Life) comprise of to help us move beyond the crossroads that we find ourselves staring at many a times in our life. The expectation from this GPS is simple - to lead us into light where we have a clarity of purpose, direction and action. A timely activation of this GPS could then provide the control back in our hands. So, building a GPS that acts as a guidance system for our life need to possess the following three key elements

• G for GOALS - Moving ahead in life is all about gaining clarity of destination and direction and well established goals play a pivotal role in brining this clarity. Goals aligned with our passion breeds purpose in our existence and builds in us the needed inspiration and motivation to achieve our goals.

• P for PROBLEMS - Anticipating problems that we may encounter on path to our goals helps us adopt a proactive approach. It prompts us to do a self-analysis in terms of the resources we currently possess and also those we may require in future to be able to solve the problems that may act as barriers enroute our goals. These resources refer to the appropriate skills and competencies relevant to the context.

• S for SOLUTIONS - This component is all about displaying a positive and progressive mindset. When the going is tough or when we feel overwhelmed with the goal/ situation, all we need to do is to keep going. Focusing on solutions will keep us motivated to take small steps which will take us closer to our goals. 
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So, wherever you find yourself at this point in time, just activate the GPS (Goals-Problems-Solutions) of life and reach where you always yearned to !

The "Success Equation"

When we think of Success, the most common questions that crop up in our mind are

What does Success look like ?

Does Success come easy ?

How do we achieve and sustain success ?

The answers to the above questions lie nowhere else but in our approach - whether we pursue success as "madness" or  put a "method" to this "madness". The  moment we have a system/ method, success becomes a habit.  

Engaged in the mindless pursuit of "more", we always tend to live life in the fastlane, with no idea

about whether we are headed in the right direction or not. We completely lose sight of the real determinants of success and meander through life, thereby widening the gap between achievement and accomplishment. Ignoring the basic tenets we take shortcuts to succeed and sooner or later find ourselves at crossroads, all beaten, confused, tired and exhausted. This is exactly when we wish there was a system to success. A deep self-reflection and we can arrive at a "Success Equation", an equation which boasts of some very basic elements which if implemented sincerely could put us on course to success in all our endeavours.

The system/ method to life-long success is captured well by the following equation

To be able to make this equation a part of our daily routine, let's understand each element of the equation

• Aspiration: This element is all about understanding our desires - what we want and where we want to see ourself in life. The ideal or the desired state is what describes this element. Our aspirations get manifested in the form of our dreams which leads to set goals for our life. This builds in us the intent to aim for something in life. If the aspirations align with our purpose and passion, then success will never ditch us.

• Inspiration: This element is about identifying the trigger in our life - the ideal(s) which we want to emulate and be like. It's like the ignition that sets the fire within us. Inspiration is what we need to make a start on our journey to success. This is what gets our adrenalin to rush and gives us the first push towards our dreams and desires.

• Motivation: This element is the perceived reward that keeps our interest alive in pursuance of our aspirations and goals. If inspiration is what gets us started then motivation is what keeps us moving. The motivation gets manifested in the form of mini targets or small success that we envisage or experience along the way. The motivation is what gives us traction and keeps pushing us continuously in the direction of our aspirations. 

• Action: Perhaps the most important element without which the other three elements seem irrelevant. This element corresponds to the effort we put in to bring to fruition our intent. If the other three elements are all about Planning then this is all about Execution. This element builds in the requisite discipline to enable us to turn dreams into reality. 

So, let's look no further for the recipe of success because the Success Equation has all the relevant ingredients to make it happen for us !

   

What's on Your Canvas for 2018?

Another year (2017) going by and another one(2018) knocking at our doors. The deja vu is all so familiar and again it's time for another set of resolutions.The same ritual of setting goals and then striving to actualize it will continue unless something done differently. The onset of new year also brings about a resurgence of ambitions and expectations that matter to us and our lives.

In the midst of all this, the million dollar questions that crosses our mind so many times are

• Can we make this year any better?
• Can we make this year count more in our life? 
• Can we manage more luck, success, happiness and prosperity in the new year?

Standing still between the past (2017) and future (2018) and aiming to make our lives more worthwhile, our quest to make our impending "present" the best begins. Our search for answers and  solutions continues. A quick reflect back on our Canvas for last year could help give us an insight into the missing pieces. Those missed out or incomplete caricatures, landscapes, sketches and the missing colors speak a lot about what we need to do better this time around. A simple solution by way of mending the missing elements in the canvas will not only render the canvas complete but also  add great meaning to our life in 2018 and beyond.

Make the Canvas (of our life) ready for 2018 is just about

• Identifying the pieces that are missing in our life in terms of our mission, vision, goals, or action items. Incorporating these pieces will not only complete the picture but make it holistic too.

• Bringing to conclusion all those incomplete tasks that stand on the verge of losing relevance and importance if not catered to Now. Those goals and resolutions which just need an action plan and that first step to make it happen.

• Adding more zing to those half-hearted tasks which are as good as any incomplete because of the lack of proper pursuance. Adding passion and purpose in our efforts will liven us and make our life an experience to cherish.     

Let's paint our best life on the canvas and splash it with all the beautiful colors of positivity and optimism to welcome more success, happiness and abundance forever in our lives. 

So, get going and create you masterpiece Now !

Have You Found Yourself Yet ?

It's so easy to lose ourself in the rigmarole of living life in the fast lane. Riding high and fast on the superhighways of information and communication we eventually find ourselves at crossroads. It's only when we get confronted with anxiety, confusion, exhaustion and stress we realize that we stand stranded in this maze of uncertainty and chaos. Every alley in this maze appears a mystery and whatever alley we take leads to hinterland, a place bereft of the ambitions and dreams that we wanted for our lives. We find ourselves participating in this mad rat-race where everyone is trying to outdo others and reaching for goals they never really set out for themselves. 

Sitting in the "nowhere land" and pursuing and engaged in meaningless misdirected pursuits, we appear clueless about our goals and dreams. Lost amidst the inner and outer cacophony, 

we ask ourselves ""How do I Find Myself Now ?" 

This act of asking ourself the above question triggers the process of "finding ourself" facilitated through more self-interrogation and introspection. This leads us to the realization that to find our true self, we firstly need to address the  root system of our lives, i.e. the building blocks that hold the key to our life-long success. These building blocks build shape our personality by providing direction to us and helping us identify a meaningful reason for our existence and survival. These building blocks stand same for all of us and all we need to do it to provide them our context 

So, before we find ourself lost in life, let's try to build clarity in life by strengthening the following key building blocks of our life:

• Passion : This determines our orientation in life in terms of what excites us most, what makes us enthusiastic, what our hearts beat for. The passion is our preferred choice in life. Identifying the passion sets the tone for living a satisfying and happy life. Asking ourself the question "What thing/ task gives me immersed and gives me immense joy and happiness while performing it?"

• Purpose : This refers to the sole reason for our existence and gives a clarity about where would we like to contribute. The purpose ensures we are making a difference in the way we envisaged for our life. The best way to determine Purpose is to ask ourself the following question - "What am i living for ?"

• Mission : This is the most critical of the building blocks as it is the core around which our lives revolve. Mission refers to the guiding principles that we define for living our life. At any point in our life, we adhere to these principles while taking any action or decision. Mission is like the "nucleus" of our life. It's worthwhile to spend a good amount of time in defining the right "mission" for ourself. Our "Personal Mission Statement" acts like a compass in our life and keeps us on track always. Asking ourself "What set of statements/ principles would act as my reference point and guide me at every stage of my life ?" will help us define our personal mission better.

• Goal(s) : These act as milestones in our life and act as key motivation to grow, evolve and achieve more in life. They give shape to our dreams and desires. The following few considerations would help the goals be more effective

• Goals should align with our passion and purpose
• Goals should be specific and shouldn't be too easy or too difficult. If it is too easy then it won't provide us with challenge enough and if it is too difficult, then we may get overwhelmed by it.
• The focus should be on goal-setting and goal-getting both because without taking any action, goals may just remain unfulfilled dreams.

 Remember the below mantra 

Building such a robust life so that we never get lost in life is all about getting the above four building blocks right