When Emotions play Dominoes

There are times in our life that we can recollect when we slumped from bad to worse or rose from good to better/ best. Those times and incidents not only leave us surprised/ shocked but also in wonderment of why and how it happened to us. What could have triggered such a drastic change in an instant, taking us from a point of control/ manageability to a point where things just seem to be sliding away from our grip. The culprit here is none other than our EMOTIONS, the element of our personality that’s most talked about but least understood. Many a times Emotions get tricky and play dominoes in our life if not checked and managed in time. Emotions, per se, are neither good or bad and it’s only our interpretation in the context and our reaction thereafter that lets the emotions loose and starts the dominoes effect.

As we move into a sphere of interaction with self or surroundings (environment and people), one of the basic emotions gets activated inside us. This basic emotion assumes proportion based on the intensity of our thoughts and interaction. This intensity sets the dominoes effect in motion and impact us in 2 major ways

1.  our activated emotions take a leap from a mild form to a more extreme one, which is not only stronger but very overwhelming too. Once it assumes the stronger format then it becomes extremely difficult to manage the emotions  
2. affects us at all levels – mental, physical and spiritual. The dominoes may trigger at one level but then encapsulates the other also. 

Irrespective of the nature of emotion (positive or negative, based on our perception), there’s always a danger of dominoes effect happening. Whatever is the nature, the dominoes effect will put us in a highly energised state and this will be very difficult to tame or to harness. More damage is done when the emotion is negative as it severely makes a dent at our subconscious level hitting at our esteem and confidence.

To halt this roller coaster ride of emotions and stop the dominoes effect of emotions, all that is required is to 

• Accept that emotions exist and are an integral part of our personality. Nothing could re-iterate this fact more clearly than the existence of “Emotional Brain” in us 
• Understand the damage the emotions could inflict on us
• Learn to identify emotions in our self as they occur. Move from a thinking state to feeling state in situations
• Learn to manage the emotions right when they occur by positive and productive actions/ behaviour

So, let’s get the ball rolling and stop the emotions juggernaut ! 

YEARN for YIN_YANG#AtoZChallenge

Y is for YIN-YANG

PERFECTION and BALANCE are 2 things that each one of us is striving for in our life. But the irony is that we are trying to achieve it in a completely non-conducive environment which consist of a world that’s overflowing with information & knowledge; mind that is filled to the brim with chaos and commotion and a body that is all the time busy multi-tasking. We are aiming for the improbable considering the dynamic eco-system we live and operate in. The best way to achieve balance is to seek progression instead of perfection and move forward. The moment we start accepting the duality of everything in life, we will achieve balance in life. This principle of duality is YIN-YANG, a concept/ approach which helps us deal effectively with uncertainties of life - ups and downs, good times and bad times, opportunities and challenges.

Why is YIN-YANG important ?

·      Life is never a smooth ride and we need to deal with adversity as well. YIN-YANG prepares us for dealing with the downs in life and move ahead in life

·   Adopting the YIN-YANG approach build in us the requisite mental strength to deal with difficulties

·        YIN-YANG prepares us to build multiple perspectives

·        YIN-YANG helps us perceive the adversities as natural       happenings and not get bogged down by them 

How to balance YIN-YANG ?

·         Accepting failures and negative events in our life as natural occurrences, similar to the positive ones

·         Focus on achieving balance in all aspects of life – work, home, relationships, etc. The more all these aspects are in harmony, the more balanced our life will be

·         Include practices like mindfulness, meditation and yoga which connect us to our inner self

·         Practice gratitude and be thankful for everything in life

·         Declutter life to attract clarity and positivity in life

 Bring YIN-YANG in life and live holistically forever ! 

TUNE-IN and TUNE-UP Life !#AtoZChallenge

T is for TUNE-IN 

Many a times in situation of crisis or emergency, we get deeply impacted and struggle in physical, mental or emotional aspects of our life. During these times, when we exhaust all our external resources or support but still need to rise above the obstacles, it becomes imperative to look inwards (within ourself) for help because that’s the only option left available to us. This “Tuning-In” to our inner self is what brings forth the desired courage, confidence, inspiration or motivation to face the challenge/ obstacle and come out victorious. Intuition, Creativity, Conscience, Coincidence, Gut, Hunch are all manifestations of our inner self. The “Inner Voice” acts as our saviour when needed the most and is totally non-judgemental. Our “Inner Self” acts as our guide and advisor when tapped properly.

Why “Tuning-In” is important ?

·         Is the most reliable source of support as we just need to reach within us

·         Every human possess great potential and a huge reservoir of untapped resources which lie latent unless tapped properly

·         Our body possess great self-healing powers and used as an alternate healing option

·         Each one of use is unique and the signals that our body gives us is well aligned to our internal composition

·         Acts as a useful insight into our self

·         Acts as a bridge for those seeking spiritual growth/ evolution

·         Brings harmony in us as we start connecting within and tend to take favourable decisions in life

How to build “Tuning-In” capabilities ?

·         Be more observant/ Pay attention to what’s happening in our life in terms what we know as coincidences.

·         At times, follow  your heart while taking decision. Try and follow the cycle – 1. Relax and Rest the Brain , 2. Connect inwards, 3. Listen to the “inner voice” that’s trying to guide to the next step, 4. Do as the “inner voice” suggest

·         At times, practice to go with the flow in life, just letting it (life) happen

·         Develop patience as it will help us listen to our inner self

·         Do regular positive self-talk to repose faith in our self

·         Ask specific questions to self to get the specific answers

·         Try any of the practices that help us focus on inside. Few practices are Yoga, Meditation, Visualisation and Mindfulness

So, let’s “tune-in” to extraordinary powers within us and “tune-up” for a harmonious and creative life !

KNOWLEDGE is the KEY#AtoZChallenge

K is for KNOWLEDGE

During those junctures in our life when we are at crossroads (in our personal or professional domains),we strongly feel the need to know more, something extra that will give us and edge and move us further/ forward from this stuck situation.  KNOWLEDGE is this something extra that gives us an edge and holds the key to our success, happiness and satisfaction in life. We live in a knowledge economy and the only way to be ahead of the pack is to acquire more knowledge in the domain we are working. The times we live in require us to go beyond just acquiring standard knowledge but going beyond and acquiring knowledge across other dimensions also which includes cross-knowledge and self-knowledge.   

Why KNOWLEDGE is important ?

·       Facilitates our overall growth (intellectual, social, mental and financial) in our personal and professional space

·       It puts us at an advantage over our competitors in the specific domain(s)

·       It instils in us a desire to learn more and keeps us inquisitive, curious and eager    

·       It turns us into a life-long learner

·       Builds familiarity with facts, information and skills pertinent to the specific subject, topic or domain  

·       Helps us become better decision maker, basing our decision on logic and facts

·       Improves our personality and  improves self-confidence and self-esteem

How to acquire and use KNOWLEDGE more effectively?

·        An understanding of the distinction between information and knowledge

·        Develop the ability to distil relevant knowledge from the vast ocean of available knowledge

·       Identify the exact and reliable sources for seeking/ searching knowledge. The sources referred should provide updated information on the domain areas

·       Apart from acquiring knowledge through learning, be open to acquire knowledge from your experience also

·      To ensure success, supplement knowledge with proper action. Knowledge without action doesn’t yield the desired results. So application of absorbed knowledge is the key to success

·       Develop the habit of knowledge sharing as it will develop new perspectives  

So, always remember that Knowledge is Power and we hold the responsibility for harnessing it for our growth and advancement in life !

INSPIRATION for Impossible#AtoZChallenge

I is for INSPIRATION

We, Humans are always seeking more in life – more success, more happiness, more achievement and much more. This quest for more challenges us to go for the impossible at times. All that is needed by us to accept the challenge and go for the impossible is a stimulus, something that spurs us to give it our best shot. This stimulus arrives in the form of Inspiration, a force that enables us to do creative things, do something really extraordinary or do the same thing in an extraordinary way. Whether external or internal, Inspiration produces a holistic impact on us that generates extraordinary ability in us to go for the impossible. Inspiration could be derived from variety of source such as person, place, thing, story, event, book and many more. Inspiration is very uplifting by nature !

Why Inspiration is important ?

·         Helps us  generate “Aha !” moments in our life

·         Helps us move out of the stuck state

·         Helps us progress and evolve in life by keeping us positive and focused on our goals

·         To help us realise and make use of the unlimited capability and potential  that each of us  possess

·         To enable us to achieve extraordinary things, earlier thought to be impossible

·         To enable us generate creative ideas and generate path-breaking innovations

·         Ensures a positive self-esteem in us as at times we tend to look inwards to derive inspiration  

·         Improves our relationship as we become inspiration (role model) for others.

How to find Inspiration in life ?

·         Identify the reason for seeking inspiration as it will throw light on where and why you are stuck

·         Be aware of which of the five senses spurs inspiration in you as this will help you seek inspiration from appropriate avenue

·         Always celebrate even the small victories and success as these memories act as trigger when we seek internal motivation

·         Always be positive about the situation/ event as this will put us in a creative mind set

·         Inspiration is built on positive self-esteem so engage in positive self-talk and affirmations

·         Pursue your hobbies as they put us in a relaxed and creative state 

·         Be action oriented to channelize the energies properly

·         Try be a role model for others as this will instil the feeling of inspiration

·         Be open to anything new as that might turn out to be a new source of inspiration 

Be always inspired because if you are then impossible is also possible !

HABITS build HAPPY life#AtoZChallenge

H is for HABITS

Life is a series of continuous opportunities and those who succeed and achieve happiness are the ones who display positive patterns of behaviour. These patterns of behaviour are called as Habits. Habits are manifested in the form of decisions about behaviour that we take at every moment in our lives. When these decisions become automatic and operate from sub-conscious level they assume the form of habit. But habit is not only about the resulting action/ behaviour based on our decision , it runs very deep has linkage to our pattern of our thinking and feeling as well. The typical cycle of habit could best described by

3R’s – Reminder, Routine and Reward which means there’s always a trigger for any habit and there’s always a reward/   goal we are seeking for executing that habit.

Why Habits are important ?

• They are the building blocks of our life as they set the tone for our living
• They ensure goal-achievement for us as they bring in discipline and regularity in our action towards our goals
• Puts us in an auto-pilot mode (in our actions/ behaviour) which is very useful when we are pursuing positive goals. This ensures continuous success for us in life
• Saves us time as habits operate on automatic mode
• Gives us brain space for more creativity

How to cultivate good Habits ?

• Identify the aspect of Habit that needs to be worked upon – 1. Manage the existing habit, 2. Change the Existing habit or 3. Form a new habit
• Be clear about the goal you  want to pursue as all habits work towards some goal
• Identify the habits you need to imbibe. A good reference is Stephen Covey’s & Habits of Highly  Effective People
• Identify the “keystone habit”, an important habit that correlate with other good habits
• Have an action plan developed in terms of identifying the triggers, benefits of cultivating good habit(s) and foresee obstacles/ challenges
• Start small as it will keep the motivation intact in us
• Be consistent/ regular in your effort , be it the 21-days mark/ 30 days mark or any other identified

So, always remember the power of habit. Work on your habits and achieve excellence in life !

GOALS ensure GROWTH#AtoZChallenge

G is for GOALS

Our Success and growth in life is measured by our accomplishments which are represented by our goals. The forward momentum in life is an outcome of our action towards our goals. GOALS are like the checkpoints in our life which tell us whether we are moving in the direction of our identified purpose. GOALS hold importance in our lives as they act as the roadmaps for us . They are like the destination points in our lives. The absence of GOALS could be related to a rocking chair, which keeps moving but not achieving anything.     

Why GOALS are important ?

• They define purpose in our lives
• They give direction to our efforts
• They help us move forward
• They turn us into achievers
• They help us maintain work-life balance by helping us focus on all spheres of life
• They provide us confidence, raise our self-esteem, turn us into a go-getter.
• They make us dream big (and achieve it too !)

How to achieve GOALS ?

• Set realistic and achievable goals well aligned with our passion and purpose
• Ensure that goals are holistic in nature encompassing all major spheres of our life
• Break goals into short, medium and long-term to make them more achievable and manageable
• Get rid of distractions/ deterrents and build focus towards the goals
• Set Goals that are challenging (but achievable) and within our available resources
• Make a transition from goal-setting to goal-getting as mere planning would not ensure achievement/ completion of the tasks.
• Inculcate the habit of writing down goals. This would activate the RAS (Reticular Activating System) which would ensure that our brain start focusing on the goals.
• Internalising our goals through Creative Imagery. Imagining ourself as having already achieved the goal(s) through all our senses make it appear real to our subconscious which helps in taking positive actions.
• Reinforcing self with positive affirmations whenever we achieve a mini-goal will keep us focused on taking necessary actions for accomplishing major/ BIG goals.

So GET SET and GO for your GOALS !

FOCUS to move FORWARD#AtoZChallenge

F is for FOCUS

We live in an age where we are surrounded by irresistible distractions (internet, technology) resulting in reduced attention span. It’s a case of plenty resulting in empty ( in terms of achievement). The need of the hour is to develop FOCUS in us which in turn builds up the requisite qualities like concentration and attention span that helps us to survive in this dynamic world laden with information overload. FOCUS is all about paying attention to right things i.e. things that matter most in terms of importance in our  life. Daniel Goleman has very nicely established the importance of Focus in our lives and defined 3 types of Focus – 1. Inner (Self Awareness) , 2. Other (Empathy) and 3. Outer (Awareness of our environment). Let’s explore the other facets of FOCUS - http://tinyurl.com/lsay2hw

Why FOCUS is important ?

·         It defines purpose of our life and gives us a direction to move in

·         Establishes traction on our goals as focused approach ensures forward movement

·         Builds an eye for detail as when we focus on something we absorb it wholly

·         Gives us better control over our life in terms of time and attention

·         Makes us an achiever as focus keeps us sufficiently motivated to cross the finish line

·         Makes us more productive as we start accomplishing more

·         Saves us energy and effort as we do away with unfinished tasks

·         Builds up Positivity in us

How to build FOCUS ?

·         Limit the information we consume so that we have as many tasks as we can handle

·         Have a clearly defined agenda for the day/ week/ month so that energies could be directed on those

·         Practice doing one thing at a time. Interpret this statement to signify that finish what you start before you move to the next  task

·         Magnify what you want to focus on so that other irrelevancies are out of the frame

·         Chunk down goals/ tasks into smaller manageable pieces

·         Maintain a checklist/tracker/ journal to keep track of your progress

·         Track how you spend your time, whether on Important or Urgent tasks  

·         Don’t get overwhelmed with the tasks/ goals

·         Develop Listening skills as this will develop patience in us

·         Practice Minimalist living as this will teach us how to be satisfied with less 

Always remember that we give power to what we focus on so focus on the right things !

CHOICE CREATES CHANGE#AtoZChallenge

C is for CHOICE

Many a time many of us attribute our failure to destiny, luck or fate without realising that these are nothing more than red herring and the real reason for our failure lies very much within our ambit. Each one of us have the power to design our best possible life and this power comes in the form of CHOICE which refers to the ability to CHOOSE. The power of CHOICE is a key determinant of our success in life. Growth or Redundancy; Forward or Backward; Positive or Negative; Success or Failure is all a matter of CHOICES we make. During every moment of our life we have the option to CHOOSE – either to make our life or break our life ! Nothing can demonstrate this power of CHOICE better than the story of Viktor Frankl, the Austrian neurologist/ psychiatrist who founded Logotherapy after surviving 3 years as a captive in Nazi concentration camp. More about Viktor Frankl here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl 

Why CHOICE is important ?

• The power to CHOOSE is very empowering and enabling
• CHOICE gives us control over our life
• CHOICE presents us with an opportunity to change our life and create out best life
• CHOICE provides freedom to choose our own path
• CHOICE prepares us to be a decision-maker in life

How better CHOICES can be made ?

• The realisation that we are the makers of our destiny will propel us to make positive and progressive choices
• Setting goals (short-term/ medium-term/ long-term) will ensure that we make better choices that push us closer to our ultimate goal(s) in life
• At times certain choices may not act in our favour but treating them as feedback would lead us to make better choices next time
• Not getting overwhelmed with the circumstances/ situations and focusing purely on our response will lead to better choice.

Whether you want to CREATE your best life or CHANGE for better, utilise the power of CHOICE.

Summing it up with a link to this short video on you tube. Hope you like it !  

  

Video link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4XmrSkFnKI

The "Why" Trap !

“Why does this happen to me always ?

Why am I singled out everytime ?

Why did he/ she do that to me ?

Why did he/ she say that to me ?

Why did he/ she/ they treat me like that ?

Why don’t I get what I deserve ?

Why do I have to struggle for everything in life ?"

If you relate to any of the above statements, it’s clearly an indication that you have fallen prey to the “Why” Trap – a trap that leaves you with no option but to question every “not so favourable” thing that happens in your life. This leaves you with no energy and enthusiasm to move forward and enjoy life. This “stuck” condition can have dire consequences on our mental and physical well-being as it manifests negativity in us by generating feelings of sadness, depression and anger. These feelings make us feel “victimized” and start the downward spiral resulting in low self-esteem and loss of self-confidence.

The sooner we realize the “Why” syndrome in us, the better prepared we can be to check it becoming an epidemic and engulfing our personality and well-being (physical, mental and emotional). Some of the ways to move out of “Why” trap are as mentioned below :

• ·         Accepting life as it (status quo) and “experiencing” it rather than “judging” it – As life unfolds it brings along “surprises”  and “shocks” both and we cannot be always prepared for what life brings to us. At times we are left wondering as to what struck us and are unable to cope with what happens. The mere realization that life is unpredictable and would unfold as it has to will help us a deal in building more acceptance towards what happens and being more patient towards letting it happen. 
• ·         Replace “victimized” feeling with the power to choose your “response” to various difficult situations – The fact that we do not have much control over most situations that occur in our life leaves us feeling like a “victim” and defensive in our approach. This can be easily counteracted with the mere realization that all of us have been endowed with the power to choose our own response to situation and we can choose how we would like to feel (sad or glad) based on how we respond to the situation. A response of positively reacting to situation could help open up many more opportunities for us to grow and move forward.
• ·         Focusing on “Action” as action generates solutions – Given that the “Why” syndrome leaves us “stuck”, so it becomes imperative that we resort to taking “actions”, even though it could be some baby steps/ micro steps to be still in motion and on the road to growth.
• ·         Focus on “Self” for your capabilities – The “Why” syndrome results in low self-esteem which leads us to focus on our weaknesses and incapabilities as we are filled with self doubt. If we start focusing on our strengths and past successes, it will provide us with the right impetus to break the “Why” trap and move ahead positively and progressively. 
• ·         Replace “Why” mindset with “How” and “When” – To move out of the stuck state that “Why” syndrome lands us in it’s imperative to change the mindset to a more active state. A mindset change to “How” and “When” helps bring in action and purpose in our approach. The focus shifts to solutions and goals.

So, get started now and turn your life around from “Why” to “Wow” !

N.B. - The above post is inspired by article from Lauren E. Miller