“Why does this happen to me always ?
Why am I singled out everytime ?
Why did he/ she do that to me ?
Why did he/ she say that to me ?
Why did he/ she/ they treat me like that ?
Why don’t I get what I deserve ?
Why do I have to struggle for everything in life ?"
If you relate to any of the above statements, it’s clearly an indication that you have fallen prey to the “Why” Trap – a trap that leaves you with no option but to question every “not so favourable” thing that happens in your life. This leaves you with no energy and enthusiasm to move forward and enjoy life. This “stuck” condition can have dire consequences on our mental and physical well-being as it manifests negativity in us by generating feelings of sadness, depression and anger. These feelings make us feel “victimized” and start the downward spiral resulting in low self-esteem and loss of self-confidence.
The sooner we realize the “Why” syndrome in us, the better prepared we can be to check it becoming an epidemic and engulfing our personality and well-being (physical, mental and emotional). Some of the ways to move out of “Why” trap are as mentioned below :
- · Accepting life as it (status quo) and “experiencing” it rather than “judging” it – As life unfolds it brings along “surprises” and “shocks” both and we cannot be always prepared for what life brings to us. At times we are left wondering as to what struck us and are unable to cope with what happens. The mere realization that life is unpredictable and would unfold as it has to will help us a deal in building more acceptance towards what happens and being more patient towards letting it happen.
- · Replace “victimized” feeling with the power to choose your “response” to various difficult situations – The fact that we do not have much control over most situations that occur in our life leaves us feeling like a “victim” and defensive in our approach. This can be easily counteracted with the mere realization that all of us have been endowed with the power to choose our own response to situation and we can choose how we would like to feel (sad or glad) based on how we respond to the situation. A response of positively reacting to situation could help open up many more opportunities for us to grow and move forward.
- · Focusing on “Action” as action generates solutions – Given that the “Why” syndrome leaves us “stuck”, so it becomes imperative that we resort to taking “actions”, even though it could be some baby steps/ micro steps to be still in motion and on the road to growth.
- · Focus on “Self” for your capabilities – The “Why” syndrome results in low self-esteem which leads us to focus on our weaknesses and incapabilities as we are filled with self doubt. If we start focusing on our strengths and past successes, it will provide us with the right impetus to break the “Why” trap and move ahead positively and progressively.
- · Replace “Why” mindset with “How” and “When” – To move out of the stuck state that “Why” syndrome lands us in it’s imperative to change the mindset to a more active state. A mindset change to “How” and “When” helps bring in action and purpose in our approach. The focus shifts to solutions and goals.
So, get started now and turn your life around from “Why” to “Wow” !
N.B. - The above post is inspired by article from Lauren E. Miller